Dealing With Frustration

If you're like most people, you have your bouts of frustration, for sure. Not everyone handles these episodes in the same manner, as you most likely already know. One of the biggest problems is that some people don't seem to get a grip on the fact that they do have a choice as to how to react to people, situations, and events.

We learned how to be angry at a very early age - we cried and, at the time, probably got what we wanted as a result just so we'd be quiet. Hmmm...does that say something? Perhaps that alone extinguishes some of the wonder as to why using our little frenzies when things go wrong has been something worth holdingonto.

Anger and frustration are okay for starters - if used properly. But they are meant to be short-lived. If not, they grow into resentment and all kinds of problems can result - and that's more than just probable. It's a given. And it's not healthy. Can you see that?

This may or may not be astonishing to you, but virtually every emotional and physical disorder can be traced back to anger. To some that's startling. So why do we hold onto it for so long?

Well, as mentioned above, anger was something we learned at an early age. Thing is, the majority of us never really learned how to deal with it in a healthy manner - and that's not good. As a matter of fact, we've gotten so good at using our anger as a means of dealing that the effects of this potentially disastrous emotion are often never noticed by us! Then it should be no surprise that emotional and physical disorders result, since the warning signs are quite often not there.

Isn't it time you, once and for all, get a handle on dealing with the anger, frustration, and resentment in your life? The benefits are so huge, they're unexplainable. In addition, it's not just you who will benefit. Family members, friends, co-workers, intimate partners, will not only notice the difference in you, but self-control can be catchy. You are sure to serve as a role model for those around you.

It doesn't have to be a difficult task, you know. As a matter of fact, there is kit designed to make the process as easy as can be. Dr.Sandra Nelson of www.Tell-Me-About-It.com has put together a kit that is so user friendly, your progress is guaranteed. And, yes, the site guarantees your success.

First off, once you receive delivery of your package, you won't have to go beyond opening the envelope to sense that you've got something different in your hands. In addition to being accompanied with some pretty nice goodies, the workbook is written in such a way that no one will be intimidated by its language. It is a priority of Dr. Sandy (as she is so often referred to) to create tools that will be put to use. And, yes, each one is put together with her own care. They are meant to work for everyone who puts his or her hands on them - and they do.

The name of the anger management kit by Dr. Sandy is "It's A Mad House" - you can have your copy delivered to you within just a matter of a few days by visiting http://tell-me-about-it.com/2itsamadhouse.shtml to learn more. Surely, you will be glad that you made the investment. And, considering its effectiveness, the price is unbelievable. So do yourself and your loved ones a favor and get your copy.Better still, pick up a few as gifts - the thanks you'll receive will be priceless.

When you really get down to it, it makes no sense whatsoever to avoid the decision to take some action toward the mastery of your emotions. So often we hear others (we all seem to do it at times) complain about how frustrated or upset they are about something and it's obvious that how they feel was caused by someone or something outside themselves - according to them. This is simply not true. It's easy to "pass the buck" when it comes to blame; however, there is only one person who can be the master of what's between your own two ears - and that's you.

Once you give yourself the privilege of a little self study, you know what will happen? You'll want to learn more - it will be like a light that goes off in your head - you know, like those "A-HAA!" moments when you say "Why in the world did I not know this stuff about myself before!"

Well, friend, there's no time like the present to give yourself the luxury of getting to know yourself a little better. Think you're an alright person now? Wait to you really get to know you - what a genuine treat!

By Dr. Sandra Nelson and David Longo

How To Reduce Stress and Ease Worries in Just 3 Minutes

Meditation, relaxation and visualisation are the standard recommendations for reducing stress, and they are all beneficial and useful to us in many ways, however, they are not so easy to put into use when stress strikes with it's disruptive companions frustration, overwhelm, confusion, anxiety etc in full attendance.

Here's something simple you can try to diffuse stress quickly and easily, anytime and anywhere.

1. rub your forehead with both hands in vertical lines from your eyebrows to your hairline for a few moments

2. about an inch above each eyebrow you will find a bump - rest your fingertips there lightly and hold

3. take a deep breathe in and lighten the pressure of your fingertips until they are touching those points very softly

4. breathe deeply again and allow yourself to sink into how you are really feeling right now - focus clearly and specifically on the one thing that is mainly causing you stress, or anxiety

5. allow yourself to think the truth of the matter, hold the points and breathe and remain that way for a couple of minutes

6. concentrate on the area you are holding and feel for pulsations under your fingertips as the blood flow, previously diverted by stress, is restored to your forebrain. Now you can begin to think clearly again as you feel stress drain away and find yourself in control and able to choose how you wish to respond to what's at hand.

What many of us don't realise about stress is that although it is often triggered by our mental states and emotional responses it is in fact a physiological occurrence. The body responds directly to every impression we feed it be it real or imagined; it makes no difference to the body. If you tell it you are stressed it will respond immediately by sending the majority of the blood from your forebrain to your chest for faster breathing and the more efficient pumping of blood through your heart and to the muscles of your legs for whatever action they may need to take.

When you consider this automatic physical response it's easy to see why we don't always think well under stress. This simple technique tells your body to stand down and encourages the blood flow to return to the brain for clear thinking and decision-making.

Try this for:

- diffusing stress on the spot and stopping it from accumulating

- easing worries

- regaining control of your resources and having access to your full capacity for dealing with any given situation.

- preventing the digestive disorders associated with stress developing. (Use this before eating to make sure that your digestive system is ready and willing to receive the goodness from your food in a calm and efficient manner.)

- relaxing and clearing your mind before sleep

- inducing a feeling of calm from which you can then step deeper into a meditative or relaxed state

By Ananga Sivyer

Stress Management: 7 Universal Laws for Managing Change

1. The Law of Stagnation

This is also known as first order change. First order change is a type of change where there really is no change.

How's that again? Pretty foggy, huh?

Allow me to clear it up for you. Authors Waltzlawick, Weakland and Fisch, in their book "Change: Principles of Problem Formation and Problem Resolution" explain it this way:

"...A person having a nightmare can do many things in their dream - run, hide, fight, scream, jump off a cliff, etc. - but no change from any one of these behaviors to another would ever terminate the nightmare."

In other words, you can have lots of action and moving around, without any real change taking place.

A good example from the relationship world is the belief that ending one relationship for another will change everything and make you happy. Not necessarily. Remember these profound words of wisdom, "Wherever you go, you take yourself with you."

2. The Law of Transformation

This is also known as second order change. Again, according to the authors,

"The one way out of a dream involves a change from dreaming to waking. Waking, obviously, is no longer a part of the dream, but a change to a different state altogether."

In other words, transformation, or put more simply, real change, involves movement from one state to another.

3. The Law of The Clutch

This is also known as the law of conscious attention. Several years ago, the clutch went out on my two year old car. I asked the mechanic why this would happen so soon and he asked me a few questions about how I drive. It turns out I was a champion clutch rider. If it was possible for me to have the clutch in, it was in.

What's the point? Well, I found myself having to pay conscious attention to something I had been doing, kind of unconsciously, for years - driving.

There are times in our life where we have to pay conscious and careful attention to what we are doing and thinking in order to get the changes we want.

4. The Law of Others

Whenever you set out to change someone else, you are doomed to frustration and failure. The only person we can change is ourselves, and that's difficult enough sometimes.

5. The Law of Wet Diapers

The only person who always likes change is a wet baby. Sometimes change can be the last thing we want. At the same time, change is an inevitable part of our lives.

6. The Law of Waves

Like change, there are three ways to handle a wave: you can let it knock you down, you can survive it, or you can ride it and thrive. Only the wisest and most creative of people do the latter.

7. The Law of Kaleidoscopes

Remember the kaleidoscopes we played with as kids? You would look through the hole in the tube, turn the end of the tube and watch the colors change. Many times there would be a series of small shifts followed by a big shift in the picture.

That's often how we change as well. We make a series of small shifts leading to big changes.

So if you find yourself frustrated by only being able to make small changes, remember, big changes can be just one more small shift away.

Adventures in Relieving Stress

Whether we are at work, traveling, or at home, we've all had bad days. Those stressful times can be difficult, but important, to shake. Your mental, emotional, and physical health depends on you to find ways to relax and regain equilibrium. I'm going to be sharing some practices that you can do to help throw off that stress and reclaim your Happy Self in no time!

First, let me explain a little bit to you about Stress Chemicals. Stress and other forms of negativity affect your sympathetic nervous system and endocrine and hormonal systems. Stress sends nerve impulses to the adrenal glands, which in turn puts a number of different chemicals into your blood stream. They affect the pituitary gland, which causes yet even more chemicals to be released. These chemicals include corticosteroids, such as adrenaline and noradrenaline, other hormones, and neurotransmitters. All the chemical reactions can turn into a vicious cycle making it harder to clear yourself from them and the damage they cause.

The good news is there are a broad variety of tools you can use to relax your mind and body to relieve the stress chemicals before they cause too much harm. Let's go on an adventure and try a variety of activities to find what works best for you!

My favorite thing to do to help me get back to my Happy Self is to take long hot baths. Bathing works to clear the stress chemicals from our topical bodies, relaxes our muscles, and it feels wonderful! Epsom salts, Bath Salts, or Sugar Scrubs are perfect agents to use. I also use aromatherapy products such as candles or incense. Soothing music is a beautiful touch as well.

Another important thing to do is to Move Your Body! Yoga, Pilates, or any stretching exercise will help release the stuck stress chemicals from your muscles and spine. Any sort of stretching will do, touch your toes and reach up high into the air, as high as you can reach and then bend back down to touch your toes again. Even one minute of stretching is beneficial. Try to take several mini stretch breaks throughout your day. Take a walk, dance, jump up and down, do whatever you can think of to just move, even if only for a couple minutes a day out of your hectic schedule. You'll be amazed at how this increases your energy and gives you more stamina against stress.

Good breathing practices are critical. Of course, you HAVE to breathe. Good breathing takes some practice and will give you the most benefit of how the oxygen circulates through your bloodstream. Use good breathing to replace stress chemicals with clean energy. This helps your body tremendously and helps your mind react with more stability. The simplest method I've found is to breathe in slowly and steadily. Try it! Take three nice deep breaths, through your heart. Now, focus on your diaphragm filling up like a balloon each time you inhale and deflating softly with each exhale. Allow this process to be very natural and steady. This is the perfect practice that you can do anytime, anywhere. I encourage you to practice this one as often as you can think of it. I find rush hour is a particularly good time for me to work on breathing techniques!

Visualization techniques are another great practice to focus on from time to time. Don't worry if you can't actually SEE what you are trying to visualize. Every person sees things differently. What's important is your intention. For example, think of your favorite desert; really think about it, the way it tastes, the texture, and the colors. How are you doing at imagining that? That imagining is exactly what visualization is. You are all ready an expert! Let's put that expertise into motion with some visualization exercises. Find a relaxing area, sit or lie down, any position works wonderfully for this. When your comfortable, imagine a ball of bright white or very bright blue light as a little spark that starts in the area of your sacral chakra (Your tummy area), allow it to grow into a flame. Allow that flame to grow within you and outside of you. Let the flame fill your whole space and imagine it "burning" out all negative blocks or murky feeling areas. Now, imagine the flame blowing out of you and disappearing into the distance, taking all the negativity with it. Now breathe! You can also do simple visualizations of your favorite Happy Places. The beach, a beautiful sunset, or a loved one always works well for me. Whatever your very own special Happy Places are, spend some time and go there in your heart and mind and notice how refreshed you feel after your "journey".

One last I'll leave you with for now is to begin a journal. Use it to record where your stresses come from, what you did to relieve yourself from it and how that turned out for you. You'll be able to use your journal to fine-tune the methods that work best for you. While you are doing this, remember to mix it up a bit. Try practicing visualization or breathing techniques as you soak in a nice hot bath, or when you are stretching. Mix all the techniques up to find your own variety of stress relief tools. Then, when those yucky, stressful days hit, you'll be well prepared to handle them with ease!

By Tracy Togliatti

Waking Up Well - The Essentials

Preparing for sleep the night before is the place to start. Quality sleep vs quantity is vital. A busy mind leading to broken sleep does not allow for a fresh mind on waking. Try some of these simple steps to help you sleep well and then wake well.

1. Use essential oils like Vetiver or Sandalwood in a vaporiser at bedtime to help you switch off and ground yourself so that you can enjoy quality sleep. Try vaporising my own "Sanity Saver" blend contain Vetiver, Geranium, Australian Sandalwood, Patchouli and Ylang Ylang. This simple and earthy blend stops your mind racing so that you can focus on one thing at once like sleeping. It helps to restore some peace and balance to your life during the busiest of times.

2. Reduce intake of alcohol the night before.

3. Sleeping in a cool and dark room, allows you to enjoy a more restful sleep.

4. Not too many heavy refined foods at night as they can lead to sluggish feelings in the morning.

5. Before you go to bed, write a quick note on any thoughts that are in your brain, getting them out allows you to release them until the next day.

6. The most common time for heart attacks is Monday morning, get the works stresses out of your mind before you go to sleep and keep the pressures off your body.

7. If you wake and you are sluggish, start with a cold shower or a brisk walk around the block, they both bring energy quickly to a tired soul.

8. Roll over and enjoy a moment with your partner, don't just race off to get into the work day, even if you are busy and have to go take a moment to be with them and make your heart smile.

9. Vaporise citrus or leaf essential oils like Orange, Lemongrass, May Chang or Grapefruit to enliven you and give you the maybe needed kick up the bum start to the day. These essential oils will help lift you physically and emotionally. Re-gain the feeling that you are really living and not just existing. Try vaporising my favourite morning blend I call it "Play More" and it contains Sweet Orange, Grapefruit, May Chang and Ginger essential oils.

Life Balancing expert Jennifer Jefferies is one of Australia's best-known authors and speakers. Jennifer's simple, practical and proven 7 Steps to Sanity can help bring balance to anyone who wants to have it all without sacrificing their health, sanity or sense of humour along the way. Jennifer is a qualified health practitioner, who speaks to corporations throughout Australia, New Zealand and Southeast Asia, sharing practical real-life strategies that help people to improve their health, wellbeing and productivity by finding balance in their lives.

Jennifer has also written numerous books and e-books and life balancing products. You can contact Jennifer at:

By Jennifer Jefferies

Stress Managment and Mastery: 6 Stress Busting Tips

In a hectic world, it's all too easy to reach the point of feeling stressed out beyond our ability to cope. Yet it's our ability to cope that makes all the difference. The point is that stress is not going to go away; it's here to stay.

If you find yourself reading a book or attending a seminar that says you can eliminate all stress, either throw the book down or leave the room.

You cannot eliminate stress. But you can learn to handle stress successfully.

Let's look at six different strategies for successfully handling the stress in our lives. Each can be used separately or in conjunction with the others.

1. Talk it out

Whatever we don't talk out, we act out. That's a basic rule of mental health. If we don't discuss the issue, it's sure to surface in some other way.

2. Take mini-vacations

It's a mistake to think that we can push hard all year (or maybe longer) and then expect that all our stress can be healed in a one or two week vacation. It just doesn't happen.

Our bodies, minds and spirits need more frequent breaks. This is especially true if you are one of those people who schedules a vacation as they would a typical work day, so as to get the most out of it.

3. Distinguish between stress and pressure

Stress comes from the outside; pressure, on the other hand, is an inside job. Pressure is what we tell ourselves about the stress.

Here's a saying I came across recently:

"All the water in the ocean can't sink a ship unless it gets inside."

Sometimes, telling ourselves something as simple as "I can handle it" is all we need to keep the stress outside of us.

4. Create your own relaxation triggers

This exercise involves three simple steps that allow you to relax anywhere, any time.

Step 1: Picture yourself in a relaxing place. Create as much detail as you can in the picture, making it bright and colorful. Immerse yourself in the scene: See it, hear it, feel it.

Step 2: While you are picturing yourself in this place, create an immediate trigger that will instantly remind you of the relaxed feeling. It could be a snap of the fingers, a word or phrase, or a mental picture. It should quickly and strongly remind you of your relaxing place.

Step 3: When you find yourself in a stressful situation, simply fire off your relaxation trigger and feel the almost-instant relief.

5. Stop worrying

That sounds too simple, but just consider for a moment: What good, what change has come about from worrying?

6. Take action

Do something about what is causing you to worry. It's difficult to worry when you are busy doing something about it.

This list began with a suggestion that you talk about your stress. That's a good idea, most of the time. It can become a bad thing, though, if that's all you do.

To make stress work for you, it's essential that you take concrete action.

So there are six strategies for making stress work for you. Here's one more suggestion: Practice one of these each day for the next six days.

At the end of those six days, you'll have strong tools for dealing with stress.

Stress Managment: 12 Universal Laws for Managing Anger

1. The Law of Everyone

It is not neccessarily wrong to get angry. You get angry, I get angry, all God's children get angry. It's what we do with our anger that makes the difference.

2. The Law of Stress

Although we don't often think of anger as a form of stress, it is by far one of the largest and most destructive forms of daily stress. Manage your anger, and you manage a large amount of your stress. 3. The Law of Choice

Anger is rarely if ever an automatic response. It's a choice. It's a choice because we have to think about something before we get angry.

4. The Law of Shoulds

We all have beliefs about how the world and the people around us should behave. When these beliefs are violated, anger is a natural, and sometimes reasonable response. The problem is that when we "should" on somebody, it can become a trigger for our anger.

For example, if we run the sentence "that driver should not have cut in front of me" over and over in our heads, the response is not likely to be pretty. At best we'll raise our blood pressure, and at worst do something really stupid.

5. The Law of Blame

Another one of our thoughts that lead quickly to anger involves blaming someone or something. The dance of blame is a deadly two step:

1) someone is at fault, and

2) they should be punished - anger can be very punishing.

6. The Law of Cause

This one is closely related to the law of blame. There is a myth in our culture that very few people ever question. The best example is the phrase "he made me angry."

Well, bull! No one can make us angry without our cooperation.

7. The Law of Emflaming

Another myth is that if we are able to vent our anger it will automatically decrease. That is not necessarily so. I once watched a neighbor stomp around the side of his house, grumbling and swearing as he went. Stomping by the air conditioning unit, he smashed his fist down on top of it. That move not only made him more angry, it looked to me like it hurt a lot too. Grumbling and swearing even louder, he stomps into his backyard and kicks a lounge chair. It didn't appear to calm him down, and it looked like that one hurt too. I found out later that he broke both his hand and his foot on his romp around the yard.

8. The Law of Source

In almost every case, anger is a secondary emotion. In other words, we experience some other strong emotion before we feel the anger. Follow the source and you usually come up with one of three strong emotions - fear, frustration or hurt, or some combination of the above. Deal with fear, frustration and hurt and you can cut anger off at the pass.

9. The Law of Battles

Learn to pick your battles. If you get angry at everything, then your anger means nothing. If that sounds confusing, here's an example: how much would gold be worth if we all had it in abundance? That's right, not much. Gold is valuable because it is so rare. If you are always getting angry, people stop taking you seriously and just want to avoid you.

10. The Law of Worth

Ask your self this question: "is this situation worth getting angry over?" Most time it just isn't.

11. The Law of Muscles

Learn to exercise your choice muscles.We can choose to be angry or we can choose another way of handling the situation.

12. The Law of Channeling

When you do get angry, channel it into something you can use to benefit you, such as motivating you into changing what can be changed.